The Gatekeeper’s Sons by Eva Pohler
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
Actual Rating: 0 (Yes, you read that right)
Okay, bear with me guys, this one is going to be a long one. First of all, I am so surprised that Eva Pohler is a writing and literature teacher at a university and not, as her writing shows, an immature twelve-year-old student.
First of all, the summary. Therese is a fifteen-year-old girl who watches her parents die. While she is unconscious, she meets the sons of Hades – Hypnos and Thanatos. <b>When she meets Thanatos, they are immediately infatuated with one another.</b>
Than is so in love that he decides to go to the mortal world to meet Therese and win her over. But Therese is required to avenge the death of her parents, leading to a one on one fight with her parents’ murderer.
Let me tell you, the writing in this is absolutely awful. From the very first page, I could tell that the author broke the rule of “show, don’t tell”. The car crash scene was already written TERRIBLY – it felt as though the author was trying to make it scary and heartbreaking, but her writing style was simply not up to par.
My least favorite part about this book was – well, everything – but my LEAST LEAST favorite part about this book was Therese.
I’ve already mentioned this in one of my status updates – as Therese’s parents drown, memories suddenly invade her mind and she reminisces about deer. One, this broke the vibe of the crash that Pohler tried and failed to establish, and two, if your parents are dying in front of your very eyes, actually do something.
[ (Update: The author told me how it was meant to portray how Therese was overcome by memories in the moment and it seemed like everything was going in slow-motion. I haven’t experienced such a tragedy, and I guess I wasn’t able to tie in this feeling with the book at the time. I reread the scene and I still feel like it broke the vibe, but now I know the reason it was included.) ]
Next, Therese is a lucid dreamer.
I’m a lucid dreamer, and so I know what they feel like.
I did some research, and Eva Pohler used to be one too, meaning that she should be able to describe them in more vivid detail, and yet her descriptions of Therese’s dreams are repetitive and juvenile.
Let’s look at a few examples, shall we?
Therese willed his shirt off, and the shirt disappeared.
The boy laughed. “You have so much control. Very few people are lucid dreamers, and I’ve never known anyone like you.”
Oh yes, Therese. Aren’t you just SO special?
Let’s look at more examples!
She looked around the room. They were all zombies. That’s when she knew she was dreaming.
She touched a front tooth with her finger, and the tooth fell out. Then she smiled. “This must be a dream.”
One group of rocks resembled a giant hand, like that of a god. That triggered an idea in Therese’s mind. I’m dreaming.
Noticing a pattern? I sure did. Every time I read another dream scene, I became more and more annoyed, because I knew that Pohler was going to have Therese realize the exact same way. And so, once, again, there was proof of the author’s terrible writing.
Now, for the relationship between Than and Therese.
It was a case of insta-love, which I have never been a fan of.
The first time Therese hugs Than, he is already smitten – to the point where he begs his father, Hades, to allow him to become mortal to chase after the girl he’s known only for a few seconds.
Now, I haven’t read twilight – but I’ve seen enough of it to know about that scene where Edward tells Bella she likes watching her sleep. And a scene in The Gatekeeper’s Sons definitely reminded me of that. Let me explain. Than can turn himself invisible – and obviously, he takes advantage of this power. Blah blah blah, one day, Therese finds out exactly how, and this is how their conversation goes down.
“You were there? In my room?”
Than blushed. “Are you angry with me?”
Now, ladies, if you ever find out that someone has been sneaking into your room and spying on you, I hope you do the exact opposite of what Therese does and gives that creeper what they deserve.
This is what Therese says in response.
“I’m only angry that you didn’t make yourself visible and kiss me, especially when you saw me crying.”
“Yeah. It was hard not to take you in my arms.”
“I’m angry you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
What the actual fuck? (Pardon my language) but this is a big NO-NO for me. There are SO many things wrong with situation – starting with Therese’s attitude. Especially in this conversation, Therese is revealed to be weak and dependent on her lover – and in her eyes, Than’s crime was not invading her privacy, but it was not being there for her when she needed him.
Keep in mind that he wasn’t even SUPPOSED to be there.
Moving along with the relationship, Therese’s attidude completely transforms into one that is unacceptable for a heroine. She transforms, to the point where she cannot LIVE without Than; she defines her own identity by him, and she begins to embrace death because it means becoming closer to him.
Then she said, “And if you leave me again, I swear I’ll kill myself to be with you.”
No. I just…no. This line set of all the warning signals in my brain – this relationship has gone from bad to worse to toxic. What is Pohler trying to tell her readers? That this is the definition of love? That love is the willingness to lose yourself to hold on to someone else?
I’m a romantic, but I have to say, that this is not the definition of love at all.
There are moments where people have to realize that loving yourself is important too – you have to be able to love yourself before you love someone else, and before you accept their love for you. Therese breaks all the rules here – she diminishes her own worth and sets Than high above everybody else, including herself.
That’s not love, that’s obsession.
Therese was just SUCH a Mary-Sue. She could do everything, and she had all the traits that made her perfect – everything about her was so perfect that even the gods fell in love with her.
To make it easier for you, I’ve compiled a list!
1. Therese loved animals and nature (which is why Artemis loved her)
2. Therese had a kind and giving heart (which appealed to Zeus)
3. Therese played the flute (Athena invented the flute, so she loved her)
4. Therese loved to swim (so Poseidon took mercy on her)
5. BASICALLY THERESE’S KIND AND MERCIFUL SOUL (Persephone, Hestia, Aphrodite, Demeter)
Therese’s overperfection was just sickening.
She was perfect, and yet she was so wishy-washy and annoying that I wondered what Than even saw in her.
For the last part of my review I want to go back to Eva Pohler’s writing style – the entire book was simply written badly, but there were a few instances where I really paused and had to put my phone down just to –
This one line in particular:
Then he covered her mouth with his and gave her a deep, lusty kiss.
Ugh.
And when she had the opportunity to write something like this:
They smiled softly and Therese felt her eyes trembling with the tears she had held back for so long. Her legs tangled together as she collapsed into their arms, desperate to hold them one last time.
Pohler wrote this instead:
They smiled and held out their arms. She ran to them and felt their warm embrace.
See the difference?
I have so much more to say but this review has gone on long enough and I know if I keep going it’ll just be one loooooooong rant, so let me just end this on the worst line of their entire book.
“It’s almost like you’re voice is singing in place of the flute, or as if the flute were an extension of yourself.”
Yes, the author committed a grave sin – she used the wrong “your” and that is completely unacceptable. Not to mention how bad this line already was.
So yeah, don’t torture yourself by reading this book.
etherealpages 
I’m anxious to use the line you felt would be better in my story, even if it is a little purple-prosy for my taste. The idea of “eyes trembling” is especially good–though, on second thought, maybe I’ll let you keep that one.
Although you will likely delete my comment, I think you will read it. I hope so, because I have a feeling that you hope to one day be an author, and that this practice of destroying other people’s stories is possibly how you hope to learn what works and what doesn’t work. That’s actually not a bad idea, but here’s some advice:
Learn to distinguish between insta-love and insta-attraction. There’s a difference.
Learn to appreciate different writing styles. My style is less purple than yours. I get that it doesn’t appeal to you. But you can be sure that if you ever publish a story of your own, there will be people who will call your writing “bad” and even “horrible.” You shouldn’t let yourself get hung up on the words. Let the story come first. Truly, the only people who like to dissect the sentences in other people’s stories are wanna-be writers who think that every sentence must be “pretty.” The truth is, if you try to fill an entire novel with “pretty” sentences, you will frustrate your reader with what is called “purple prose.”
Learn to recognize consistency in character. Of course the triggers in Therese’s dreams are similar. That’s the definition of “trigger.” For me, it was always flight or the realization that something in the dream could not be real.
Learn about the character arc. Therese has no idea what real love (for a boy) is. You are right in your criticism of her behavior with Thanatos. But she can’t be perfect at the beginning of the series if she’s to transform. Over the six-book saga, she does learn the difference between love, infatuation, and desperation. In the first novel, she confuses her need to be with her parents in the Underworld with her desire to be with Than.
Ironically, you criticize Therese for being a Mary Sue, and then you criticize her for not being mature enough. Although she may seem perfect on the outside–you listed all her positive traits–she’s obviously got some work to do on herself on the inside. And by the way, that list of positive traits you listed in your review? People like that exist–very talented, kind, loving people do exist in this world. And they have interesting stories, too, even if they don’t appeal to you personally. And young readers need a diverse cast of characters to read about. The troubled heroine who drops out of school (or whatever you imagine an imperfect protagonist to be like) is one kind. But who wants to read about the same one over and over? Good girls deserve to be in stories, too.
And as to the opening scene–if you’ve ever watched someone die in front of your eyes, as I have, you might understand Therese’s paralysis. The shock numbs you and renders you helpless (not everyone reacts this way. Some people are true leaders and seem to know what to do). While you’re numb and paralyzed, memories flash through your mind unexpectedly, making you feel like you’re moving in slow motion and even further confusing you. I’m sorry the opening didn’t work for you, but my goodness, why did you keep reading if you hated my writing from the first page? It wasn’t like you paid for this book. Next time, you might consider reading a sample of a book before you download it. Maybe you’ll feel less obligated to finish a story you despise from the very first sentence if the book isn’t on your device.
You might also think about reading some reviews before you read a novel. If you had, you might have avoided so much misery. All of the things you disliked–the insta-attraction and Therese’s goodness, for example–are mentioned in many of the over 200 reviews on Amazon. Why put yourself through so much misery, unless you take pleasure in making fun of others? Oh, I think I just answered my own question.
Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
Eva Pohler
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So I didn’t delete your comment, and I’m going to begin by saying that you were right on one account – I do want to write. I’m sorry If I came across as harsh; I had just finished the book and there were lots of things I had trouble with.
Firstly, I do know the difference between insta-love and insta-attraction. Here is what I deem insta-love: two people meet, and immediately they take a liking to one another (especially speaking in terms of physical appearance), and before long they become closer and cannot live without one another, although they’ve only known each other a little while. Insta-attraction would be when two people are immediately drawn to one another, and they do not declare romantic feelings quickly, but rather let it build up over longer periods of time, leading either to friendship or romance. It begins with an attraction and ends with something much bigger. Maybe you define both differently, but Than and Therese were a case of insta-love in my opinion.
Next, I have read many books, with many different writing styles, and I have liked many of those stories. There are authors who use simple, straightforward terms – and yet they are able to weave something beautiful, something that completely draws me in. I never said that every single sentence had to be amazing, but I do think that there is an issue when NONE of them are.
Yes, of course the triggers in Therese’s dreams are similar – oddities in dreams are very often triggers for lucid dreamers to distinguish between dream and reality. I was trying to say that it would be nice if there was some variety in the way it was worded.
Character development is something that happens over the entire course of a hero’s journey. Take Harry Potter for example – he learns something different about himself, something new, in every book, and the readers see him grow and mature with every step he takes. There should be a hint of the character arc within every single book, so that the story moves forwards. True, I haven’t read all six books of your series, but I do think that there was a lack of character development in the first book itself.
Contrary to your belief, I do love talented, kind, loving people, but there is a difference between a compassionate character and one that is brimming with “perfection”. The idea of “Mary Sue” is that she is “perfect” in the sense that all her flaws and strengths are cliche and overdone. Therese’s flaw is her immaturity, her naivete – and yet these are not flaws that I would label a complex aspect that needed serious fixing. What I was looking for was a HUMAN flaw, something that brought Therese down from earth, something that showed that she was “layered”, a part of her that begged for growth and didn’t simply amplify the innocence that she seemed like she was supposed to embody. And nor have I called for a completely flawed character – the troubled heroine who drops out of school, as you mentioned, is on the other side of the spectrum. What I do think is that there needs to be an internal balance within every character themselves.
Alright, about her paralysis, sorry, I’ll give you that one – I haven’t experienced something on that big of a level and thank you for opening my eyes to what they might feel like in the moment; I simply felt like the way the scenes were structured broke apart the atmosphere you tried to establish.
As for the reason I kept reading, which I think is a tad irrelevant, was one, because one of my friends wanted to read it together, and two, because there have been many books where the first few pages were extremely hard to get into, but gradually improved and captivated me as they continued, which was why I kept reading, hoping that this story would do the same for me. I didn’t feel obligated because I had already downloaded it; I kept reading with the eternal hope that I would begin to enjoy it.
It’s funny, though, how you think I PURPOSEFULLY put myself through so much misery just to make fun of you! I HAVE read reviews of this book (must be a shocker, for someone who writes book reviews), and the rating for your book wasn’t too low on GoodReads. I was truly hoping for a terrific story that incorporated Greek mythology with a bit of romance – and yes, these were pieces of information that I got off of reading reviews, which was why my expectations were pretty high. There are reviewers who loved the romance between Therese and Thanatos and reviewers who adored the characters, but I found that it wasn’t my thing. At the same time, I also read reviews that were more in line with my perspective – but just because it’s been said doesn’t mean I don’t get the chance to express what I personally think.
And finally, you’re right about the importance of not letting yourself get hung up on the words. But then again, that’s exactly what a story is – words. Words can create, inspire, save, but they can also destroy, erase, and break, and it is the power of these words that show me the beauty of writing.
Thanks,
Catherine
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Thanks for explaining your motivation. You sound much more intelligent in this reply than you did in your initial review, and I apologize if I came across as condescending. I appreciate your reply. And I am truly sorry that the book wasn’t a better read for you.
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Even though I’d to defend my complex character and her story arc and point out how she does transform in different ways in each story, I know it’s a bad idea to keep engaging with you. But, I’d just like to add that one day, when you are a published author, you will also receive reviews like the one you gave me (everyone does, even our favorites, like Rowling). These reviews will be written by young people who want to be authors one day, too. And the thing is, even though you will receive so many more raving reviews by fans who say they’ve read your work multiple times; by fans who write in to say they’re obsessed with your stories; by fans who message you to say thank you for helping them get through their painful, debilitating condition by distracting them with your wonderful book–even though all of these things will happen to you, Catherine, those few scathing, heartless, cruel reviews written by the young author-hopefuls–those reviews that treat you and your work as though you aren’t a sensitive person bravely putting your best work out there into the world–those reviews will stick with you more than any of the others. They will make you wonder if maybe you really don’t have what it takes–which will be a shame because you do. You really do have what it takes, and all your high rankings, sales, and reviews will be proof, but it still won’t be enough. Because those few hopefuls who, for whatever reason, want to rip your work apart… they will bring you down, because, the truth is, their opinions matter more than even they probably think they do. They shouldn’t, but they do, because you’re a sensitive artist who hopes to please everyone with your work, even though that’s so unrealistic and utterly impossible. When that happens, Catherine, I hope you will be able to shrug it off better than I have been able to do.
Best wishes,
Eva Pohler
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Although I haven’t changed my mind about the book, I do apologize for being too harsh and condescending, and I do hope you continue to write and do what you love. What you said here was very thought-provoking.
Thank you for the advice and replies,
Catherine
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Really enjoyed this review. It summed up everything I disliked about the book. And don’t take the author’s comments to heart. It sounds like she can’t take criticism, which explains quite a bit about her writing. Reviews aren’t for the writer: they’re for the reader. You did an excellent job summing up the issues of the first book.
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Thanks! I wondered if I was sounding extremely harsh but I just felt like I had to get all my opinions out there (since I had SO many issues with the book). Thanks again for the comment – it made my day 🙂
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